My Last Goodbye
by luvin'-music
Summary: "Do you regret it too, Fang? Do you regret every kiss we ever shared? Do you regret every touch you ever felt from my hands?... Sometimes, I just have to wonder." Max's letter to Fang. Now ongoing! Fang's Response is up! Rated T just because.
1. Max's Letter

**Alright! Sorry I haven't updated Maximum Ride: Last Stand in forever! I'm seriously working on it! I'm sorry it's taking so long!**

**Anyway, here is a oneshot between Max and Fang. Max is sending him a letter telling him just what she thinks about this whole ordeal, which ends being a goodbye letter. Sad oneshot. Seriously made me wanna strangle two specific main charectors of this story. (Hint, hint.)**

**I'm gonna shut-up, now.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. If I did, Max and Fang would still be together, and Dylan would have never existed.**

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><p>If love was really perfect, then you would still be here. If it was really like what the movies made it out to be, we would be living happily ever after by now, the world being saved and me holding our first child, smiling at an invisible camera with your arm wrapped around me and an equally dazzling smile on your face as you stare down on me. Unfortunately, love isn't always perfect. It isn't always dazzling and safe. It's actually most often dangerous. Hopeless. Broken.<p>

Is that why you left?

I heard somewhere that you have to leave sometimes to see who loves you enough to actually follow you. It's like a test. An experiment.

Is that why you left?

Others say that you left because you were a wimp. Like you didn't have the balls to stay behind and face all of this with me. With the flock. Your family. They say you were scared, Fang.

Is that why you left?

Fang, I've heard so many different things. I've heard all of the reasons for your leaving from everyone else _but_ you. I've been painted a picture that you were the biggest douche of the century and, while I sort of agree with them, I don't want to remember you like that. I don't want to keep that picture of you in my head, Fang. I want to remember you as you were before: My best friend. My right-wing man. My first love. My boyfriend.

Is that too much to ask, Fang? Is it?

Because they're still talking. They're still reminding me of everything. Every wrong and stupid thing you've ever done. They're making me remember, Fang. They're making me wish I had never touched you or held you or loved you like I had. They're making me wish I had never kissed you back. Like I should have pushed away that night at the desert. Like I should have just walked away all those times you told me you liked me. All the times you cared for me. They make me wish that I had never loved you.

Also, Fang, you're not helping.

Do you regret it too, Fang? Do you regret every kiss we ever shared? Do you regret every touch you ever felt from my hands? Does it make your stomach churn as you remember the nights we slept side by side, hands held, feet crossed, dreaming in the peace that we were together? Under the stars? Forever?

Sometimes, I just have to wonder.

Fang, if you really loved me, then why did you leave? And _don't _give me that bull about the fact that you were protecting me. _I_ protect the people of this flock, Fang. Not you! _I'm_ the one who knows best for this flock, not you. _I _am the one who evidently holds this flock together! _Not. You! You_ might have helped me, Fang, but _I'm_ the leader. I did everything from feed these kids to help them get dressed in the morning to patting their back when they upchucked after having too much chocolates from France! _I_ make decisions for this flock, Fang. _Not. You!_

Was that too much for you to take?

Fang, if I told you I didn't love you, even after all this, I would be lying. The truth is, I _still_ love you. I _still_ hope that you come to your senses and come back to me. I _still_ wish you would quit being an idiot and come back to me. Fang, I _still_ have faith in you, even if you don't always deserve it.

But the funny thing about faith, Fang, is that it can always be put into the wrong people.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Fang, is that I'm done. I'm done wishing. I'm done hoping against hope that you would come back to me and stop being such an idiot. Fang, I'm done rooting for you.

Maybe the Voice was right. Maybe Jeb and Dr. G-H and everyone else was right. Maybe we _weren't_ meant to be together.

By the way, Fangy, if you didn't want me thinking these thoughts, then maybe you shouldn't have left me in the first place.

I guess what I'm trying to say through all this is goodbye, Fang. Goodbye, and I hope that maybe, with your new-found love of Maya and your new gang, you'll live a happier, more full life that you never found with me and the flock. I hope your replacements of us are to your liking, because, Fang, I guess the originals just weren't good enough for you. I hope you live a normal, picket-fence sort of life from now on.

I sure wish I could have lived it with you.

Sincerely,

Max

P.S. Dylan says hey.

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><p><strong>Grrr! Stupid Dylan. Alright, please tell me what you think! Like? Hate? Eh? Reviews greatly appreciated! If you review, I'll give you a cookie! Chocolate chip! Mmmm... :9<strong>


	2. Fang's Response

**Hey again!**

**Well, a while ago I got comments asking if I could continue this, and I thought, "Hey, why not?" So, without further adoo, here is the next installment, except it's Fang's response to Max's letter. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Maximum Ride. **

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><p>Sometimes, it takes forever for someone to fully grasp the meaning of love. For some, it can take a whole lifetime to truly understand what love is. For others, it doesn't even come hard. They just accept it, enjoying the freedom of loving others and being loved.<p>

Sometimes, I really wish I was one of the latter.

Max, I know you hate me now. I know how much it hurt you when I left, and now, thanks to your letter, I know first-hand just what's going on with your feelings. But you have to understand, I did this for us! I had to leave, to keep you safe! Max, if I didn't, then who knows what would have happened? Would we even still be here? Would Angel and Jeb and everyone else be right, and while the flock is attached, wouldn't we be there for them? Max, it's happened before. Twice. I know that third time is usually the quitting point, but I really don't want to push it. Push us.

Max, we're fifteen now. We have to make decisions that are best for the flock, not just for us. Although, when it comes to love, Max, you were my first and only. Maya doesn't come close. She might look like you, Max, but she isn't you. Not by a long shot.

Oh, Max, there's so much I want to say. So much I wish I could just sit here and write forever, telling you my heart, my soul, like I used to. I might sound cheesy and corny, but who cares? I loved you, Max. Always have. Always will.

I guess the key word in that phrase was _loved_, since we can no longer be together.

Let me get some things straight before I let you go, though. Number one: I didn't leave because love isn't always predictable. If anything, that would be one of the reasons why I would stay behind. I left because I loved you, Max. And I wanted to protect you and make sure you would be safe. I know that might've been some flawed thinking, but at least I cared enough for you to sacrifice us, right?

Number two: You know that's not why I left. I knew you loved me already. If I really wanted you to follow, I would have said so. You know this. Why would you even ask that?

Number three: Well, I could understand them thinking that. In all practical purposes, I was a little weak, if you wanna call it that. I call it sacrificing myself for the sake of the flock, though. You do much of the same thing everyday, Max. You know how it is.

Number four: Then don't think about me that way! Don't listen to everyone else! Listen to what your heart says (I know, incredibly cheesy line, but totally true!). If everyone told you to jump in front of a train, with your wings tucked in and no way to escape, would you? If you don't want to remember me that way, then don't, Max. Remember me how I remember you: As a beautiful, smart, and amazing girlfriend who rocked my world and never stopped giving up on me. (Just... not in that specific way... of course... since I'm a guy...)

Number five: You _know_ the answer to this, Maximum. You _know_ I still love you. You _know_ I don't regret anything. You know that if I did, you would know it, too. Do you have any idea how much those scenes play back and forth in my head at night? Do you even realize what they do to me? Max, I'm the one who liked you to begin with! Why would I all of a sudden stop because of a little competition? I know sometimes it looks like I did, but come on, Max! I'm only 98% human! I can't be perfect!

Number six: We've been over this, but I'll go over it again if you seriously don't understand. Whether you like it or not, I left _for us_. I left for not only our safety, but the flock's. I left because I knew we had to leave each other anyway, so we might as well just get used to it now. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Max, and I know you'll be ticked by the time you get this, but I couldn't tell you back then. Now, you know. We had to be separated, Max. To save the world.

There's another reason, Max, but I can't tell you now. Unfortunately, I'll have to tell you at a later time, if ever. I'm sorry.

Last but not least, number seven: I NEVER REPLACED YOU! Why the heck would I? I needed a good fighter, Max. That's the _only reason_ I asked her. Not to be a jerk. Not to make the thorn I left on your side stick even farther into you. Not to make you ticked. Only to help me in the middle of a fight.

Why would you think any different?

Max, I love you. I will _always_ love you. No matter what sticks or stones you throw at me, I will always, always love you. Your beautiful brown and blonde hair with even a little red in it will always be engraved in my memory and yearned for by my touch. Your captivating brown eyes will always make my knees weak and haunt me until the day I die. Your smile will always make my heart beat faster, and your lips will always be engraved into mine. Max, I will always wish you were the one with me in a fight. You will always be the one I would want to turn to if I ever have any issues. You're the one I grew up with, Max. NOT MAYA! She's not you, Max, as I keep telling you. How many times do I have to explain this?

Unfortunately, Max, I have to go. I just wanted to answer some questions, and hopefully sneak in a few of my own for you. You don't have to answer, of course. I know how busy you are. But if you find the time (and another spare stamp), then I hope you write back. I love you, Max. No matter how much it hurts.

Sincerely,

Fang

P.S. Tell everyone I say hey, too. And I hope you find your mom and Ella. Send Iggy my condolences.

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><p><strong>How was it? Horrible? Shouldn't have continued? Cool? Awesome? Please review!<strong>

**P.S. If you're a fan of Maximum Ride: Last Stand, guess what? I've got chapters ready to upload! So please hope with me that the internet will keep working so that I may upload them! XD**

**P.S.S. Should I continue this? It's up to you guys! Please review!**


	3. Max's Response

**Ugh, I have a headache. :p Not fun.**

**Here's Max's response! What will she say? *Gasp***

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Not in the mood for smart allack remarks curently. Stupid headaches.**

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><p>Love. It mends broken hearts. It unites family after years of struggle. It makes people smile when they otherwise were having a bad day. But without it, it can break your renewed heart. It can destroy a family, as it has almost done with our own. It can make you cry if it is torn away from you unfairly, as it was done with us. Love can be curse, yet a blessing. It can be cruel, yet fulfilling. Love is unique. Special.<p>

And I don't give it away easily.

I love you Fang. _Love_, not _loved_. And I hope the knowledge of that fact breaks your heart as it did mine. I hope you want to tear your heart out of your chest and run away from it, Fang, because that's exactly what you did with mine. You took it and you threw it away. You stole all of my secrets, all of my pain, all of my memories and you ran away with them, lighting them up as you went along, forgetting about them, about us. You just wanted to forget, Fang. And you want to know how I know that?

That stupid letter you sent back to me.

I have to admit, I never expected you to write back, let alone so soon. I mean, I just sent you that letter to get some things off of my chest, but you... You actually wrote back. You actually found a gosh-darned stamp and _wrote me a letter_ and _sent it to me. _I have to say, Fang, you are unpredictable when you want to be.

But now, Fang, it's time for my response. And lucky for you, I do have an extra stamp lying around, so let's begin:

I'll start by asking just what are you protecting me from, Fang? What? You never tell me, and I'm getting sick of it! You keep telling you you're protecting me from something, and I have thought about it and thought about it and I still honestly have no clue what you are talking about. Are you protecting me from our love? Trying to make it so that we don't go off and be alone again while the others are in trouble? Because, news flash, Fang, _Dylan will be the same way_. What, you think that just because you're out of the picture, that Dylan won't want to be alone with me? That while we're gone, whoever is attacking us will once again see that the two best fighters of the flock are off and find that as an advantage again? Do you think that the flock won't get mad at that again? Sure, it hasn't happened yet, but it didn't happen immediately with us, either. Just give it time, Fang. If Dylan and I ever do start dating, then we'll slip up, just like you and I did, and the flock will snap at us just the same. This reprieve won't last long, Fang. So why did you really leave, Fang? No more with this protection crap, I want the truth. _Why. Did. You. Leave?_

And if it was to protect me from you, however weird that may be, then you can tell me why, Fang. Who knows, I might need to know for some life or death situation. You can't leave out info that can ultimately save my life, now can you?

I'm not going to write answers to all of your questions, Fang, mostly because I don't feel like going back and rereading your letter that many times. So I'll only do important points to me, okay? If you really want an answer or just don't like it, tough. This is my time to talk, and your time to listen. My rules, not yours.

Number 2 on what I deem important: This is for your whole spiel on how I should remember you. You wanna know how I choose to remember you, Fang? As a backstabbing, betraying jerk who couldn't take the pressure and left. You saw your competition, deemed yourself not worthy enough, and you left me. What I'm trying to figure out is why you thought you weren't good enough, Fang. You were my first love. What, did you think that at first chance I would leave you for the other guy? The guy that I had just met, might I add? What did he say to you, Fang? Because this isn't you. I know you Fang. At least, I did. And you would never have done that. What did he say to you, Fang? What?

Just so you know, I never would have forsaken you, Fang. I loved you too much. Not him.

Fang, do you love me? Do you really, truly love me? Am I just a memory now, like that song? Only a Memory or something like that? Am I really not that important to you anymore? Please, just tell me. Be honest for once. Because you told me you only _loved_ me, and then you go off about how you will always _love_ me and remember me and all of that. Do you love me or not, Fang? Do you?

Because I love you.

I'm not going to cry, Fang. I'm not going to start going off because my boyfriend is gone and I can't survive the heartache. Because I already tried that, and you ended up having a nice new life and a perfect new Gang. So I'm not even going to be that vulnerable again. Not for you or anyone else. Not even for Dylan.

At least, I think not for him. I'm not so sure anymore.

Fang, do you want to know what honestly goes on in my head when I think of you? Do you wanna know what it does to me? Well, I'll tell you:

Your hair, as dark as midnight underneath my hands, makes my knees weak and my stomach churn, since I will never be able to actually feel it again. Your obsidian eyes , those dark orbs that only sparked around me, always makes my heart flutter, and I always wish to see them again. Your voice, sending shivers down my spine, those beautiful words that were saved especially for me, making me feel so special and loved. The fact that you were so different around me, Fang. Like you cared for me more. Like you thoroughly loved me. And when we kissed, Fang, everything went all out. My mind went completely blank when your lips were on mine, when you breathed against me, when we were the only two people in the world at the moment. Fang, you were my drug. My love. My life. I gave you my heart, and you cherished it. You gave me yours, and I cherished it.

But not for long, so it seems.

I'm going to go now, Fang, mostly because I don't know what else to say. The only thing I ask for is my heart. If we really are done, and there is no hope for us, then may I please have my heart back? I'll give you yours, but I want you to say it first. I want you to make the transaction first, Fang. It's just... More final that way, I guess.

Sincerely,

Max

P.S. Iggy says thanks, he needed it. Send everyone a hello, too, I guess. We miss them.

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><p><strong>That's all. What do you guys think? Personally, I liked the first two chapters better, but what say you? Please review. :)<strong>


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